timmydaddy

My sister Eileen is a little bit sheepish when it comes to people knowing that she turns 40 this weekend.  She’s trying to keep it on the down low.  I know, I know—it’s absurd really.  Her 30’s were very good to her—a surging career and a fun move from DC to NYC.  Now as she turns the corner into her 40’s she is closer to family, reconnecting with old friends more than ever and taking the Big Apple by its stem.

Still, what can we do?  Let the birthday girl have her way.  Let the PR Queen have her Eric Carmen moment (“All By Mysell-ehehlf”—get it??  heh heh…).  Anyway, let it at least be said that the throngs of TimmyDaddy.com readers have been warned NOT to share this article or further disseminate this classified information.  And whatever you do, don’t go wishing her a Happy Birthday on Facebook or Twitter or anything like that because she’ll just be so mad she could spit.

She says she is single these days but those who watch her closely have noticed that she seems to be at an inordinate amount of the same functions as Mayor Bloomberg as of late.  Hmm…
I’d love to be the Sullivan that breaks that story to all of the major news outlets but as it is, I’m about #9 on the information ladder and that is only because Steve doesn’t answer his phone.

Perhaps not surprisingly, Eileen herself is the epicenter from which all Sullivan correspondence flows.  This role was cemented by her move back to New York a few years ago.  Now it is essentially preordained that when there is news to be shared or kept close to the vest, Eileen is the one who gets the first call.  And we all love her for that.

Eileen is a mere 580 days my senior so I’ve had the benefit of her wisdom as she passed through some of life’s milestones just a little ahead of me.  On first grade:  “They have snack time, so that’s cool.  But Sr. Cecile has eyes in the back of her head and she sees EVERYthing.”  On meeting the band backstage (in her case it was The Thompson Twins, mine, Hootie and the Blowfish):  “They were totally cool.  Like normal people, only awesome.”  On turning 30:  “I love my thirties.  They totally rule and you will dig them too.”  She was right every time.

The 1980’s brought on some epic hairstyles for Eileen.  Call it homage to her synthesizer faves:  Howard Jones, Nick Rhodes, Alannah Currie, Nik Kershaw, Paul Young with maybe a dash of Bananarama sass tossed in there.  There was one coif in particular that utilized an audacious, follicular wall standing at attention on one side only to plummet in a swoop down the other.  Two extended braids made sure the back wasn’t left out of the fun.  Check out the side view here as she puts the moves on a gay man at a family party.  Charmed, I’m sure.

Me?  Okay to be fair, earlier on in adolescence I channeled my inner Dan Marino with a curly-mullet haircut I called “Don’t cut anything off the back.”  Then I progressed to the WDRE-New-Wave -style I creatively termed “Don’t cut anything off the front.”  Sporting efforts indeed but nothing compared to the heroic hairstyles Eileen pulled off.

Of course the hairstyles came and went but she just went along being Miss Smartypants, going to American University, jetting off to France and Spain and Italy, single-handedly solving the JFK assassination mystery and generating global buzz that she may just be the most popular girl in the world.  Ho hum.  Now she’s 40 and just getting going.  So what’s next?  How about some E-trivia??  Responder with the most correct answers to these Eileen-centric mind benders wins a free shopping spree at the TimmyDaddy store nearest you.  Good Luck!  Answers will be posted next week…

1)       What is Eileen’s middle name?  (Starting you off EAS-y like a Sunday morning…)

2)      To how many children does Eileen carry the title “Aunt”?

3)      Which niece or nephew does she like the best?  OK OK…name the shortest one.

4)      Several years back, Eileen shocked the world by switching her adult beverage of choice to Pinot Grigio.  What was her preferred drink before that?

5)    What is the name of the beach in Rhode Island where Eileen and her siblings vacation?  Spelling counts…

6)      Eileen excelled in soccer until she discovered the joys of not playing soccer.  Which green-shirted, White Plains recreation team did she play for?  Hint:  It rhymes with “Chompers” which is not to say that there was another team named the Chompers,  just that I find rhyming hints often help in trivia.

7)      What famous crooner shares a birthday (not to mention a proclivity to hip swiveling) with Eileen?

8)      From the annals of the Ridgeway Country Club snack bar years:  Name the octogenarian Golf Course Ranger with whom Eileen bartered milkshakes for rides home in his golf cart?

9)      Our Lady of Sorrows grammar school circa 1977—first grade play—The Peanuts Gang—which naturally curly haired hottie did Eileen portray?

10)  Which member of Eileen’s all-time favorite band Duran Duran suffered a nervous breakdown?  Hint:  He was one of the three Taylor brothers.  Double hint:  They weren’t actually brothers!  Ha! It was all a crazy coincidence!  I know, I know, it’s looney.  You can’t make this stuff up!  Ok, now just answer the question already…

Happy Birthday E.  Much love and I wish I could be there to celebrate with you!

Tim

Some thirteen months ago I bought a Halloween outfit for my son Elliott who was two years old at the time.  It was a ‘Football Player’ uniform replete with the cheap, costumey, felt material jersey and pants and the topper was, well, the helmet.  It was a misshapen, foam hat with a chinstrap that seemed to be made of the same material that is used to package electronics.  Fastened by velcro, this piece of equipment could probably withstand a head-on collision with a mosquito.

I paid $14 for the ensemble but if the material used for it was worth more than 50 cents I’d be shocked.  Occasionally still, the entire outfit is donned for a marathon session of pass, catch and tackling (“zacking”) daddy but the helmet comes out every single day.  Elliott loves that damn helmet.

To keep the peace we pretty much let him wear it anywhere he pleases.  He often asks to wear eye black as well to complement the look.  A quick swipe of the forefinger and we’ve got ourselves one happy little football freak!  It’s become so commonplace that when strangers at Target or Publix chuckle at his headgear I forget what they are even looking at (ohhhhh, like your kid is so cute??!!)

Now, it is nearly impossible to be a football fan in Atlanta without considering the issue of race.  Michael Vick, a dynamic black quarterback, is probably the most popular athlete in Atlanta despite the minor detail that he currently makes his living in Philadelphia.  But he used to play here and then he got caught being unspeakably cruel to dogs and then a debate about race and sports emerged like a weed from concrete.  There are Falcons fans and there are Vick fans—those that actually accuse the Falcons management of racism for releasing him when really there was no choice to be made.

Vick spent a couple of seasons in prison and Atlanta drafted a paper-lily white kid out of Boston College named Matt Ryan to shoulder the quarterbacking duties and essentially become the new face of the franchise.  (I can deem him such because I am a paper-lily-every-bit-as-white product of the Boston College intramural program some umpteen years prior.)

Sure a compensation disparity of some 75 million dollars separates us, but there is a kinship in the suburban whiteness Matt and I share.   I’m not bragging or anything but I’m pretty sure that when I was 16 and he was 4, I could take him in a variety of backyard sports….

Anyway, I watched just about every snap he took in college and knew he was a special player so I was thrilled when Atlanta drafted him.  It didn’t hurt that by all accounts, he was a great person too.  I knew he’d represent the Falcons well and that he’d make BC alums proud.  I knew he would be the type of athlete Elliott could look up to.  So like any good dad would, I passed that enthusiasm along to my son with concerted repetition and exuberance for official Boston College & Falcons gear.

A couple of Thursdays ago the Falcons played the Baltimore Ravens and wore their black jerseys.  We let a rightfully riveted Elliott stay up a little late to see some of the game.  So as we re-played the victory in the park that weekend  I nearly fell flat out when I heard this blond haired, blue-eyed, sweetheart of a 3 year old declare “I’m the black Matt Ryan!!”

I noted an interracial couple on the path next to us, walking a pit bull that looked meaner than Ray Lewis.  I stuttered something along the lines of “heh heh…he means the Matt Ryan that wears the black Jersey…heh heh.”    The couple was a bit puzzled but generally bemused (thankfully). More importantly Ray the dog had his sights set on a falling leaf so disaster was averted.

There is still a long way to go but Elliott’s generation will certainly advance race relations further won’t they?  For their part, Matt Ryan and Michael Vick have both done a great deal to quell the talk of race and get the fans focused on football again.

Elliott doesn’t really know black from white from yellow and when he does begin understand racial differences, I don’t sense it will matter much to him.  Wouldn’t it be cool if we all just needed to recalibrate what it meant if and when our kids say things like “we don’t want the black guys to win”?  That’s not to say it would hurt to invest in some better helmets.